Again, Sally-Anne McCormack was invited to speak with Mel & Kochie on the Sunrise Program.
This time the topic was about parenting your children without them hating you. Sally-Anne gave 5 helpful tips to the audience on how to avoid raising children who will end up hating you;
Stress Less. Just like when we are learning a new skill in the classroom or at work, our children will take time to understand what we are trying to teach. They will require many repetitions before understanding that what they are doing is not acceptable to their parents.
If we make sure that we keep our stress levels in check, then we will serve our children better, and help them to enter the next phase of their development in a more healthy and well-rounded way (with happier parents!).
Natural Consequences. While it has been explained that a toddler does not intend to upset their parents, they will do things that are inappropriate. One common example is when a child draws on the wall with crayon. It is ineffective for us to yell (because they did not mean to make us angry), but it must be cleaned up.
Tell your child that crayons are only used on paper, then you can hand her a warm cloth to wipe down the wall, and help her. She learns that there is a consequence to her behaviour (ie. if you draw on the wall, you have to clean it up), but if we teach her that without the anger, the lesson is learned appropriately.
Make sure your expectations are realistic. It is important for parents to know what is reasonable and what is not for a child of a particular age. Read child development books or even search the internet to find out more about what your child can or cannot do at various stages. But don't have too much expectations about yourself either, don't put too much pressure on yourself.
Give kids responsibility. Work with children and teenagers, give them more responsibility that will in turn increase their self esteem.
Discipline is about teaching. Remember that discipline is NOT about punishing and penalising children for inappropriate behaviours, it is about identifying and educating them about more appropriate ways to behave. Toddlers do not yet have the capability of seeing the world.